From then to now

Sometimes I act obsessed
with the changes
that are happening around me,
but it’s just that I need to see a smile
just to feel
that there’s one still in me.

It’s that bliss in mistakes
that shifts our floors
and shakes the walls and frames.
And it’s the mix of these
that comes to pass
that reminds us of why we came.

I get angry
with my lazy limitations
that have held me so far back,
but it’s personal trust
that goes both ways
being the very thing I lack.

Because it’s been so long
since I’ve lived that life
where I was there for someone’s needs,
cause it takes so long
just to stand back up
once you know neither one can lead.

Here is just the way I am,
projecting out
just to be included.
Into these rooms
where the signature smiles
have become so convoluted.

We put all this faith
in selected lovers
when minds and hopes conspire,
but it’s just self-righteous
to pretend to see more
as the rest of the night retires.

It’s decisions making
that plays its part
among talks that just seem scripted.
Asking me things,
like “What do you do?”
When those real words feel encrypted.

And I’ve seen that line
that’s been spread so thin
between hopes and expectations,
where I’m on one side,
but you think it’s the other
and I fear it’ll fuel a rejection.

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About Sean O'Gorman

Spoken Word poet from Ottawa. View all posts by Sean O'Gorman

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