Category Archives: Haiku


I’m not cheap I’m just

in the bargain bin of life

waiting to be found

Haikus (most came out dirty…even that came out dirty…no pun intended.)

Flash and it’s over,
life, a game from our childhoods
pieces left behind

porn still gets me there faster,
just a click away

Writing these haikus
only taught me how dirty
my mind really is

When I think of sex
there’s nothing I wont try once,
let that settle in…

Both my testicles
look exactly like acorns
in a plastic bag

YOLO is bullshit,
it’s all condoms and seatbelts
if you want one life

Blue balls don’t exist
it’s just a secret guilt trip
from a hurt ego

Beautiful thick girls
smiling between their dimples
from a sideways glance

I have a secret
I dance at a club downtown
please come make it rain

This is my “O” face
I think math to make me last
until she looks bored

Next years Halloween
I’m the slutty teddy bear
covered in sequins

Forever alone
broke a hand masterbaiting
busting knuckle nuts

Zombies eat our brains
I prep for apocalypse
by watching TV

It is a sad truth
if my socks had ovaries
I’d be a dad now

Star Trek and Star Wars
JJ Abrams controls both
way too much power

Have a dirty mind
corruption flies through fingers
and drips from our tongues

For you I will smile
and will always brush my teeth
waiting for those lips

Fucking hate winter
stupid snowflakes and the cold
shrinking my man parts

LohEl once told me
there’s a dark side and light side
to the force in slam

Surfacing inside
is a healthy inner child
hopped up on steroids

When it comes to love
I am the dirt that filth breeds
and the smile that spreads

Rusty Priske. Fuck-YEAH!
He is still one of the best
and always bad-ass

He weaves his music
named PrufRock Shadowrunner
and his words cut glass

My twin brother Hyf
is a music MacGyver
where sounds found and fixed

haiku’s force pronounce
broken sentences

Monique Simonot
writes far better poetry
than pens can handle

Be truly fearless
overtake the broken parts
that once defined you

I have a penis
it has a mind of its own
somewhere in my pants

I love having sex
it reminds me of summer
and lazy Sundays

Our souls are rising
now talking to each other
with more than just words

The word “nipple” is
still something that makes me laugh
just like the word “taint”


You’ve given me luck,
through your swollen heart beating
as if just for me.


I’m tested with you,
tested with the things I want
tested wanting more.


Above golden clouds
my mind screams in endless pain
for something it lost.


My battery’s dead
I’ll send love poems to you
after I charge it.


Miss you already
like the sweat between our chests
waiting to return.


In the mist you stand
alone beneath a haircut
leaking perfection.


In the end of love
I found poetry hate mail
hurt more than goodbye.


I’ve had better days

when there were blisters to brake

and sweat came from work.